Sunday, May 15, 2011

thoughts on developing your latent abilities

Magic. ESP. Tarot. Psychic. Energy Work.

While for me, this path is not just about magic, I have to admit to being fascinated by it. I have long loved everything and anything occult related. It’s what drew me here initially. If it weren’t for my love of the occult, I would have probably focused on becoming a yogi, not a witch.

That’s probably not what I’m supposed to admit to, is it? But fuck it. It’s true. And yet, for all of that, I’ve never been someone with any perceived natural abilities. I can’t make things move, I can’t read minds, and I can’t fly. Damn it!

However, I do a lot of meditating (any of you who read this regularly are probably very aware of this cause I like to talk about it a lot, I know) and since I’ve started meditating on a regular basis I’ve noticed an increased sensitivity to the world around me. This of course, with my Capricornian nature, has stirred my psychic ambitions. (It seems weird to write that I have psychic ambitions, but so be it). The more I meditate and read, the more I am convinced that we all have latent abilities in this sphere and it’s just a matter of awakening them.

So now I find myself wanting to jump ahead and know what those skills might be. And I also wonder if they were always there in my life, manifesting in subtle ways without my awareness.

For example, I have always been a good judge of character. That might sound like an idle boast but in fact my family and friends have frequently commented on my ability to suss out people who are untrustworthy. My mom has always said that if I didn’t like someone it, it was reason to give her pause because inevitably she would find out out later that my initial intuition was always right. Is this self-fulfilling prophecy (in that there have been some cases where this was the truth and has now been applied to all individuals to the point that people are looking for it? I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe not). If you want to know how I know these things, I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know why I react this way. After a lot of thought, I’ve come to realize that when I don’t like someone I’ve met, they take on a physical ugliness to me, be it in manner or gestures, usually in gestures. They won’t behave or look different than anyone else in the room but to me, their movements will become coarse and rude and I’m repelled by them. This might sound incredibly harsh, but it’s not because honestly, it’s rare that I react this way. I like most people, or feel neutral about them until I know either way.
I suppose in some way you could argue that this is a latent ability but I’m looking now to see if it’s related to something more. I’m curious to see how it will unfold further, if it will.

Another example of something that I learned and am relearning now: when I did yoga all the time in a studio, I started to notice that I could feel the air shifting with our breathing during savasana (the corpse pose at the end). I would lay there, aware of the way the air would shift up and down, usually in sync, at the end of practice, just a foot or two above us, like a wave of energy. Honestly, it freaked the fuck out of me and I didn’t quite know what to make out of it. It was fascinating but weird as a sensation. It was the first time that I knowingly felt energy in the world around me in such a tangible way. And often, after I finished a course like this, I would walk out on the street, covered in sweat and be approached by total strangers and invited out for coffee. For some people this might not seem that remarkable, but for me it was because I tend to have closed off energy and am rarely disturbed by the people in the city around me. So it was weird to come out of my practice, relaxed and calm, and realize that my openness in practice was opening me up to the world at large. Ultimately, as much as it intrigued me, I don’t think I knew what to do with it and eventually shifted my energies away from my yoga practice because I was finding it exciting and unsettling.

Now that I’m meditating and working a daily practice, I’m finding a very similar experience occurring again. At work students keep me busier than I’ve ever been because they seek me out more and more. In my friendships I’ve had to deal with a lot of “big confessions” lately and I find myself needing to draw some boundaries that I’ve never had to draw before, not always with welcomed reactions. Some days I’ll literally vibrate with energy and I feel like I am attracting people to me like flies to honey. And then I become overwhelmed and shut down, cutting myself off from everyone, usually the ones who deserve it the least being the ones who feel it the most.

This evolution towards awakening, as much as I embrace it, is coming with it’s own challenges. And I’ll be honest, I’m not always sure I’m up for the challenge. I go from wanting it all now, to feeling overwhelmed by the shifts that are manifesting in my life. And, in it all, the universe, in a moment of perfect synchronicity gave me the following:

“spiritual growth is not a competition or a race. The various grades are intended as periods of time wherein the elemental composition of the initiate’s psyche are explored and equilibrated. […] Patience, diligence, and endurance are necessities on the magical path. […] the Great Work is not accomplished overnight. It requires long-term commitments. Sometimes, the work of an initiate will feel like ecstasy, while at others it will seem like drudgery. […] The Divine Union comes in small increments and gradual stages, like the careful and painstaking process of alchemy. Over time these flashes of insight will ad up and constitute real and lasting psychic growth.” (Cicero 247-8)
For someone who has been spending too much time lately wondering about how these various new awarenesses will translate into unlocking some latent ability I may possess, these words were so fitting that I was once again reminded that the universe gives you what you need, when you really need it, if you’re open to seeing it for the gift it is.

2 comments:

  1. An interesting read. I get that way about meditation too. (Vipasana.) Heightened awareness of the world in general, detecting subtleties I've been missing. Or like sometimes the universe seems to reflect back to me my current thoughts or concerns. I remember a story about a shaman, Inuit I think, who was asked if he knew the whereabouts of a person long missing from the community. He thought, and said "The grasses outside my door can tell me nothing about him." To be so attuned!

    I do artwork that you might find interesting: mythic scenes, epiphanies, and moments out-of-time painted traditionally. Please take a look.

    http://www.deathless-art.com/

    If you ever wanted to use one to illustrate a post, feel free. My site won't allow a direct link to an image file, but you can always copy one and post it with a link and attribution for non-commercial purposes under my Creative Commons license.

    Hope you enjoy them. I'll be back to read some more. Thanks.

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  2. Thanks for sharing the art. I'll definitely keep it in mind. And I agree, to be so attuned would be pretty awe inspiring. I'm already amazed by the ways in which yoga and meditation affect me, but it's humbling to think of how much more there is out there.

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