Wednesday, December 28, 2011

pagan art journaling {week 48}

This week's prompt: evolution of your ideas about your faith/path

I'll admit it, I was a fluffy bunny. But admitting it is part of the solution, right? And oh, how things have changed since I started out on this path. Once upon a time it was all about the spirits of nature, now things are a lot more complex for me.

Studying the Qabala and reading Crowley, 2 things I'd previously been very resistant to, have really changed my perspective of traditional Wicca, paganism in general, and specific re-constructionist pagan paths. While I see paganism as a catch all term, I no longer see all of these paths being necessarily similar (though I do feel a lot of the time the term paganism is used as a catch all term for very loose, free forms of eclectic Wicca--and I don't necessarily see either the loose, free form, eclectic Wicca, or the use of the catch all term Paganism as being bad things).

I used to be quite scared of things like the Goetia, Enochian, and Golden Dawn magic. Now I have a healthy  respect for the first two and am much more comfortable with much of the Golden Dawn framework. I go back to old books and I'm awed by the things that I missed before, that made reference to things that I just ignored and didn't catch. And it amazes me now how much is in some of the books out there. They often point the way if you're willing to do the work and walk through the symbols and keys left for you. So for me, as this year ends and I look back over my path, I realize just how far I've come and yet how so much of what I initially held to be true and dear to me have only become more solidified through time and experience.I just needed (and still need) to learn to trust my experiences and internal knowledge more.

What about you? How has your sense of your spiritual path changed over time? And if you make New Year's resolutions, what is the one thing that you want to work on in terms of your spiritual life in the upcoming year?

Over the past year, I've really had to learn trust more and it's been a challenging lesson. I know I haven't talked about it much here, but trust is a big issue for me when growing a spiritual community. I often have a knee jerk, OMG flakey reaction to things that make me uncomfortable or tend to shut down when people expect me to open up and be vulnerable. Who knew, right?

So I think that going into the next year trust will continue to be a big lesson for me on my path, and I'm actually thankful to have built a community that accepts this about me and works around my reactions to help me find my way towards open heartedness. I wish for all of you out there, on similar albeit different journeys, that you find the same in your life in 2012.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining me along the way, as I work my way through my own musings through art, journaling, and meditations. May 2012 be bright and blessed for all of us!


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