Monday, March 12, 2012

this week I am: march 5-18 2012

Thinking: about eco-fying my home and life. And ways to convince my husband to get onboard with my new ideas!!!

Creating: Memories. Kindness. 
This weekend I found out that we are not pregnant (2nd attempt) and while I'm not stressed about it, I can see how the process is a hard one, particularly when you were pretty sure it'd be easy, peasy since you have a good understanding of your fertility and know that there isn't a problem in that regard. But then my meditation illuminated something important to me: I need to be kind to myself on this journey, accept the lesson that arises out of the process (patience and realization that I want it more than I thought I did), relax, and trust that it will work out the way it needs to work out. So instead of wallowing, I dragged out Mr. Faye, and we went out to enjoy the sunshine, dream about our new home (only 3 more months to wait), and make memories of a life, lived together.
Planning: to share all my dirty non-eco secrets in order to go through the process of (re)-greenifying my life.
Reading: I just, finally, finished reading Dion Fortune's The Sea Priestess. Really enjoyed it even though it took me a fair bit of time to get through it. I think it was a timely read because it had a few messages that I needed to think my way through and understand better. I appreciate the beauty behind the fact that it took literature for this feminist lit geek to find a greater understanding & acceptance of the union of male/female polarity within Wicca. It seems fitting, you know!
Listening: Gotye. 
I think I posted a link to this song before, but I just downloaded the album and find some of the songs a hit or miss for me. It's about a 60-40 (hit-miss) ratio for me. I love the song featured in the video above, but some of them I find a bit campy or blah. You know, just to be honest.

Realizing: that sometimes the moments that sad or dark can be the moments that speak the most to your faith/character. We can let them define us positively or negatively. I choose to look for the positive, even when the glass feels half empty. 
Feeling: grateful for the knowledge that I'm not only ready to be a parent, but that I really want it. Grateful for advice given to others that ends up speaking to me. Grateful that I have, yet again, been reminded that I'm not in this alone and that I'm loved and looked out for along the way.

Damn that's pretty fan-fricken-fantastic!


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