On a very basic level red will always remind me of home. It's my mother's colour. I'm sure I've written about this before. So I'll spare you the long thought out version of this... Red = Mom, Love, Home, Security AND Passion, Anger, Lust, Fire, Energy...
Lately, I have to admit that I've been throwing myself a bit of a pity party. I know... I was all Pollyanna a few weeks back and then I got dark. Go figure. Highs and Lows... It's part of the cycle of creating balance. There just seems to be a cycle in my magical/spiritual path... just when I am about to come to a new realization, my whole world (i.e. self) conspires to throw up as many blocks as possible before letting them go and finding what I was looking for.
This go around I totally back-lashed against friends, family, and community. I've been working a lot with water lately and the element has me dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. Shocking, I know! And apparently, my predominant emotion is resentment!
Yeah. I know. That's not the emotion I really want to admit to. But there you have it. I am angry and resentful far too often, even though my heart really is filled with love. Or at least wants to be filled with love. So now I'm trying to figure out what is the cause of the resentment (or at least, my part in the creation of said resentment). This led to the painting below, which focuses on Geburah on the Qabalistic Tree of Life:
Ok, I know this is a lot of information but I wanted to show how I was using the colour Red this week to really work through some of my pathworking. It's not an exact science. It's just part of my process. I needed to give form to the resentment, to focus it and find a way to make it good and as I write this, this sonnet by Edna St Vincent Millay comes to mind:
I will put Chaos into fourteen lines
And keep him there; and let him thence escape
If he be lucky; let him twist, and ape
Flood, fire, and demon --- his adroit designs
Will strain to nothing in the strict confines
Of this sweet order, where, in pious rape,
I hold his essence and amorphous shape,
Till he with Order mingles and combines.
Past are the hours, the years of our duress,
His arrogance, our awful servitude:
I have him. He is nothing more nor less
Than something simple not yet understood;
I shall not even force him to confess;
Or answer. I will only make him good.
I very much feel like this was my process last week. This was the journey that Red took me on.
What kind of journey, emotions, thoughts does Red do for you?