Friday, September 21, 2012

quote of the week

via pinterest

You know, I admit it. I picked all these quotes and scheduled them long ago. And yet they seem to fall into a  pattern and often hit just when I'm going through something that is weirdly aligned with the quote that pops up for the week.

Coincidence? Well, since I don't really believe in coincidence then I guess not. Isn't life odd and fantastic that way?

Mr Faye and I have been talking (and even sometimes, dare I admit it, arguing) about what we want our life together and individually to look like. We've been having those big conversations about our dreams and life lists and the way we communicate as a couple and the choices we're making as a couple.

Recently I feel like we've finally made an enormous break through as a couple (possibly because he finally heard something I've been trying to tell him for years, like really heard it instead of glossing over it and saying yes he understands).

Ready for the reveal? The too much information maybe?

Ok...

My husband likes to make people happy. This is where he finds his own happiness. And it's noble and beautiful and I love that he cares so much about other people's feelings. However, this means that he never makes decisions solely based on what he wants. Which also means that I end up being dragged into (sometimes very resentfully) decisions based on what someone else in his family/community wants. And as someone who was taught to think for herself and not to get caught up in doing things for the sake of appearance, this is VERY frustrating for me (because, as you may infer, most of the things we/he ends up doing for his family/community far too often have to do with this stupid game of keeping up appearances). I have been telling him, over and over, that I feel like in the end, when it comes down to choosing, we as a couple end up compromising on things that don't really matter to him, but matter a great deal to me, because he wants everyone to be happy (except, ironically, me because I am looking out for his happiness).

I know, it's all convoluted and way too personal and yet vague.

But here's how it relates to this quote for me: we're finally at a point in the conversation where he is accepting  that yes, he needs to figure out what is important to him and make decisions based not only his needs and desires, but also ours as a couple.

He is accepting that he needs to be braver about staking out his own destiny and taking charge of his life first. And honestly, I am relieved because it's been a 7 year conversation in the making.

I feel like, finally, he is grabbing his courage and ready to stand up for himself. You know, actually do it instead of just saying he should.

My the universe be kind to me and not let me regret asking for this! Fingers crossed people. Fingers crossed!


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