Saturday, September 22, 2012

saturn return: celebrating Capricorn

Today the sun enters Capricorn so I thought it might be a good time to reflect a bit on Saturn and Capricorn.

Also, I'm a Capricorn.

You know,  the ol' horny goat, climbing steadily onward up the mountain. The ambitious one. The one who cares about material success. The disciplined one. Reserved and traditional. Almost obsessed with security.

Wait, hold up. What?....

That doesn't sound like me, not really. No way. In fact, once upon a time a friend described me as an "artsy, hippie, glam girl," which is not only way cooler, but I think, sounds more like me. It's much more exciting than hardworking, stable, and conservative. You know? I mean, who the hell wants to be a boring ol' Cap?

Bah. Stupid sun sign, we need to talk and redefine our terms. Cause I'm quirky and spastic and couldn't give a rat's ass about the big "career" at the end of the day. I'm way more wild than my tame, homebody Leo husband.

But then I remember a little voice in the back of my head chanting "3 going on 30" lady, "3 going on 30". My Aries Mom used to say this about me all the time. In fact, it's totally her voice in the back of my head, whispering that I might be more Cap than I want to admit to!

Cause I was a serious child. I was quiet and dare I say it, pretty damn shy. I was studious and loved to play "work" (usually I played school/teacher). I never cheat, not really, and am staunchly committed academic integrity. I know that I have earned everything I have ever achieved in life. No one has ever given me anything that I didn't work for.

 I rarely call in sick, in fact, I practically never did until I got this job and my students seem to be plague infested...

I worked 3 jobs through a good chunk of my education. Not always because I had to. In fact, I had to learn to not work so much and didn't know what to do with my time when I gave up the extra jobs. I have since filled it with blogs and crafts, so I don't know that I've made progress on the workaholic tendency, not really...

So yeah, I might be more Capricorn than I like owning up to.

But why do I hate being a Cap? Well, because Caps seem like the party poopers of the zodiac. And while I might be a serious person, I am definitely not the party pooper. In fact, I think I'm a pretty dang awesome party guest!

So what is a serious but rebellious Cap to do?

Embrace her Saturn return and how it affects Capricorns.

For those of you who don't know what a Saturn return is, it's the time that Saturn re-enters the same location it was when you were born and this happens around your 29th-  30th year. It marks the time when your life tends to make some big shifts. Most people find this a rough time in their life, full of big lessons and challenges. After all, Saturn is a stern taskmaster.

For Capricorns, who are known for doing the 3 going on 30 bit, this time actually marks the start of a reversal for them as Capricorns are also known for becoming younger as they age. While everyone else is growing older, more serious, and disciplined, Capricorns grow younger, shedding the weight of the world they carried with them during their younger years. They relax and tell more jokes, taking life less seriously than they did.

Essentially, they've climbed a big chunk of the mountain, gotten a good view of things, and have more of a light heated perspective. And your Saturn return is just the beginning of this change.

When I think about my own life, I have to say that this is very true of my nature. I've often felt like a  late bloomer, but one who who has finally found her stable place to land, which makes me feel lighter, looser, and more lively. Stability, inasmuch as I have begrudged it, has actually made me feel freer. And while I've watched friends struggle through their Saturn return, I have thrived. My 30s have been my favourite years. Oh, I wouldn't take back my 20s. I did it all. I love the stories and memories that I have from those times. But damn, as I near 36, I have to say getting older, despite all the body changes and slowing metabolism (damn it, I can't eat ice cream like I used to), this Capricorn thinks being older rocks.

My 7 year old self, who just wanted to be an adult, is finally arrived and is pretty dang pleased with the lay of the land from her viewpoint. Everyone always said to enjoy being a child, but fuck that people. Being an adult, even with the bills and shit, is WAY better!

If that makes me the quintessential Capricorn, so be it. I think there's more to Caps than meets the eye!


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