Monday, September 10, 2012

This Week: Sept 5th to Sept 9th, 2012

  Sept 5th to Sept 9th, 2012
  • Sun in Virgo
  • Moon in Taurus, Gemini, Cancer
  • Same old, same old. Still struggling, but doing a bit better about doing the work.

Creating, Planning, Trying
  • Mostly I've been doing a lot of Project Life stuff these days. 
  • But I just did this, this morning (still a work in progress):

Viewing, Reading, Listening:  

  • It was a rainy weekend here and Mr Faye and I cozied up on the couch a lot to watch movies. Eat, Pray, Love to the Ugly Truth, to Happy Gilmore. I've been feeling pretty low energy and fighting a cold, so I've slept so much that it's kind of crazy. Movie were about just right for me.
  • I've been rereading some of the Diana Gabaldon series. Love the first books of that series.
  • TV on the Radio, Calexico.

Thinking, Realizing, Feeling:
  • I'm noticing a trend in my life in which I have become much more spiritually minded and yet, at the same time, am experiencing a rather profound knee jerk reaction to Christianity. I need to work on tempering the anger and being more tolerant and accepting instead of harping on the indignities I feel are being directed my way. Tolerance and acceptance. This is my new mantra of the moment!
  • We're in baby waiting mode right now and I have to admit that I'm finding this particular wait very difficult for me. After 8 months of trying, 1 (maybe 2) miscarriages, I am starting to feel it. Mr Faye and I agreed that we'd keep trying until Jan (with me seeing the Doc after this round if it was negative to get tested for thyroid problems), but yeah, it's starting to wear on me. Honestly, I'm ok with not having a baby if that's what is in store for me, but the ups and downs of trying, I'm not doing so well with them at this point. I'm starting to feel the bitterness and jealousy twinges. I've had to tell my mother in law to stop with the twin grand-daughter jokes. Today was the first day that I woke up wanting to cry over the issue. So yeah. Even though I know my (our) life will be amazing with or without children, we'll travel like crazy fiends or nurture a wee one, either way, it'll be great but the hoping and losing are draining me a bit these days. I see babies or hear of other people getting pregnant easily and I have that twinge of WTF, why? But I also accept that life might have a different path for us and I'm ok with it. And I'm not crazy about the whole getting pregnant, I promise, I'm not totally stressing myself out with it and becoming baby crazy... just sharing what's on my mind this morning.
  • For rainy days and smell of cool, crisp autumn days!
  • Connecting with students again. Some days I'm just awed by how rewarding my work is.
  • Cuddling on the couch, watching movies with Mr Faye and Kittie Faye (the cat).
  • For baking and crafting days.
  • For lazy Saturday mornings when I get to read until noon
  • For elections being over!


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