The more I art journal, the more I realize that I'm currently in phase that is obsessed with girls and wings and hearts. And that I love it when my pages come out with this dreamy, floating in the mists vibe!
I've been thinking a lot about intuition vs analysis in my life, particularly related to what I talked about here.
It's been a challenging time in my life as I contemplate how you know if you're thoughts are your intuition/inner guide or if they are just fears and reactions. I don't have an absolute answer but I feel like I should because I've done this cycle enough now that I should know better by now! Whenever I feel at odds with something and feel like I'm fixating on this question, I should remember to stand back and remember that having this many questions probably means that I'm not listening to my intuition.
I know what I want in my life, where my boundaries are, and who I am. The fact that I can still get so caught up in the game is a bit mind boggling sometimes. But I suppose we all do it. I'm told that meditating helps with this but I have yet to see it. Maybe I'm a particularly hard nut to crack. It seems possible, people always telling me that I think a lot!
I don't find it easy to know when to listen and trust what my intuition is telling me because I do over-analyze things, which is ironic because I do have good intuition! When I contemplate why I don't trust/listen to my intuition I think it comes down to the following things:
- That I'm missing some piece of the puzzle
- That I'll miss some golden opportunity
- That my emotions are clouding my judgement
- Rationalizing behaviour
- Trying to see the other side
- Getting caught up in the back and forth because I can't see the answer clearly
And the irony is, when I do let it win, even if it takes me a while, life always seems to come along and provide the sign and guidance that I was so desperately looking for in the midst of the chaos. When I opted to move across the country in the face of the great unknown, with nothing to catch me, the universe just seemed to conspire to make it easy. When I decided that enough was enough, all of a sudden, everywhere I looked were things talking about denial, tyranny, and oppression. Added to the mix were offers of support, friendship, and opportunities to fill the gap.
So sometimes I don't know, but sometimes I do... and when I get out of my own way long enough to let things flow, they really do flow!