Thursday, October 4, 2012

Intuition vs Analysis: Art Journaled

Another page... another girl with her heart wide open:

The more I art journal, the more I realize that I'm currently in phase that is obsessed with girls and wings and hearts. And that I love it when my pages come out with this dreamy, floating in the mists vibe! 

I've been thinking a lot about intuition vs analysis in my life, particularly related to what I talked about here.

It's been a challenging time in my life as I contemplate how you know if you're thoughts are your intuition/inner guide or if they are just fears and reactions. I don't have an absolute answer but I feel like I should because I've done this cycle enough now that I should know better by now! Whenever I feel at odds with something and feel like I'm fixating on this question, I should remember to stand back and remember that having this many questions probably means that I'm not listening to my intuition.

I know what I want in my life, where my boundaries are, and who I am. The fact that I can still get so caught up in the game is a bit mind boggling sometimes. But I suppose we all do it. I'm told that meditating helps with this but I have yet to see it. Maybe I'm a particularly hard nut to crack. It seems possible, people always telling me that I think a lot!


I don't find it easy to know when to listen and trust what my intuition is telling me because I do over-analyze things, which is ironic because I do have good intuition! When I contemplate why I don't trust/listen to my intuition I think it comes down to the following things:

1. Fear
  • That I'm missing some piece of the puzzle
  • That I'll miss some golden opportunity
  • That my emotions are clouding my judgement
2. Over-thinking
  • Rationalizing behaviour
  • Trying to see the other side
  • Getting caught up in the back and forth because I can't see the answer clearly
But here's the thing, I think that I know even when I am intent on ignoring that knowing. Like I mentioned above, when I start angsting so much over something, I think it's a clear sign that I'm denying my intuition and can't let go of the issue because my intuition won't let itself be ignored. Stupid intuition! Always wants to win.

And the irony is, when I do let it win, even if it takes me a while, life always seems to come along and provide the sign and guidance that I was so desperately looking for in the midst of the chaos. When I opted to move across the country in the face of the great unknown, with nothing to catch me, the universe just seemed to conspire to make it easy. When I decided that enough was enough, all of a sudden, everywhere I looked were things talking about denial, tyranny, and oppression. Added to the mix were offers of support, friendship, and opportunities to fill the gap. 

So sometimes I don't know, but sometimes I do... and when I get out of my own way long enough to let things flow, they really do flow!


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