Oct 29th, 2012
Sun in Scorpio
Full Moon in Taurus
I'm struggling here. I'll be honest. I'm really pulling my feet and I need to take a good look at why that is. It currently feels like every excuse I could possibly find is finding it's way to the surface these days. It happens but I need to shake it.
I've been working on a Christmas present for my Mother-in-Law right now: a scrapbook of photos from 2012. I've done all the foundation pages and now will add the photos and embellishments as I go. Here's what the foundation pages look like:
Of course, in the midst of doing this project for her, I got into an uncomfortable spat with her over lunch yesterday. The woman drives me crazy. I love my husband but his family is really something else. They're generous and loving, but don't listen, infantalize us, and generally undermine their children by being emotionally manipulative and passive aggressive. It's a combination that drives me mental and now that we don't live above them, I find it harder to keep my comments in check.
I get particularly frustrated when a serious comment gets treated like a joke, so I try to show that I'm serious only to find that the next thing I know I'm being told that I'm cranky and offered chocolate to placate me. If there is ever anything anyone should know about me it is this: when I feel like I'm being patronized and condescended to, nothing will make me angrier, faster. I see red when this happens.
While I'm working my reaction and think that I've come a long way since my relationship with Mr Faye's parents began, I still react. Suffice to say, lunch went downhill from there. And I'll leave it at that.
However, all that said and done, I surprised Mr Faye by coming home and completing the foundation pages to the album. He thought that for sure I'd be too cranky over the afternoon to want to continue working on a project that was meant as a gift of love.
So here's the thing, where this story is leading to:
Do you think it's better to only work on something meant with the intention of love when you're feeling it, or should we push past those moments and do the work regardless of our attitude going in? I'm using a very "trivial" example here but if you expand it to any workings that you do.. I think there's a larger question there that applies to our practice. What do you think?
Planning: Ok, other than the 2012 album, I've started my December Daily album pages. Nothing fancy, just the background pages.
I'm going with a red, lime/olive green, and white foundation for the project. I kind of like mixing up the green to use an unexpected shade of green in the mix because it feels more modern and lighthearted to me. Yup, I dig it!
- I'm thinking about a blogging 2012 recap project for Dec. I know. Halloween isn't even over yet and I'm chugging ahead to Yule. Honestly, this year I'm just not feeling Halloween. I know right? Blasphemy! I love Halloween but this year I'm just feeling a bit blah about it. Could be my cold or work stress but I just can't wait for the semester to be over! And on top of that, my family is coming out for Christmas so I'm super stoked about having them here and doing a Christmas with my family in my new home. It's been a long time since the Dewell family has been all together for the holidays. I'm seriously going to go crazy with decorating and stuff.
- Speaking of which, we're getting our mantle for the fireplace this Saturday and I'm so excited to be able to decorate it for the holidays (this one coming up and every seasonal holiday year round). It's dumb but yeah, it's the little things that make me stoked this way. So if you've got any great pinterest or other links for great mantle decor ideas... send them my way!!!
- Oh yeah, and I'm currently dyeing white napkins black. After too many people freaking out over staining my white linens, I'm giving in and making them black so guests will get over their aversion to ruining my "good" linens. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I've had to reassure people that it's ok and refuse them the paper napkins they feel more comfortable with. Being ecological is challenging sometimes because people have the funniest hang ups!
Viewing: The Good Wife
Reading: Just finished Mark of the Witch by Jessica Gibson. The start was really rough and the book in general needs another edit. It was ok but nothing that I would rush out to recommend or purchase. I read it in a day and it kept me entertained when I wasn't annoyed with plotting issues or grammar problems like know vs now.
Listening: Florence and the Machine.
Thinking: Bwah, you've already read enough of my thoughts today!
Realizing: See above. Nothing beyond the need to figure out what battles to choose and which to let go
Feeling: Exasperated by family in laws. Amused by the ridiculous of it all. In the need for more hot chocolate yet horrified by the ingredients in my cacoa. The next purchase is going to have to be eco cause who needs oil in their hot chocolate? Seriously. Ick.