Wednesday, December 12, 2012

pregnancy and evolving spiritual needs

Lately things have been either exceedingly quiet or madly frantic in my life. It's been challenging for me to find the time to do anything other than what has to be done or sleep these days. In the midst of it all, my wee furbaby has become quite needy and so there's been a lot of this going on lately:

I know that this is just part and parcel of the first trimester of pregnancy, but with the holidays and end of term being part of it, I sort of feel a bit like I'm drowning in lethargy.

Spiritually speaking, I find myself re-examining my commitment to my group and my practice. I've been finding it too absolute and inflexible lately. I find myself questioning the space it takes up in my life and feeling that it occupies too much of my day to day existence.

I'll be honest, this worries me because I wonder if this level of practice is sustainable when combined with parenthood. I think I'm longing for something that feels a little freer and more flowing than the practice I have at the moment, particularly given the way life is going to change with a wee one in it.

And yet, at the same time I am also that much more committed to doing the work on some level because I feel that it is all the more important now for me to be out there, serving the gods. It's an odd paradox but at the heart of it I see that there are so many ways to experience the divine and practice this path, based on where we are at in our lives.

Now, if only I could stay awake past 9:30pm I might actually be able to visit this space or my art journal more often and journal it out!


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