Friday, November 30, 2012

quote of the week

via pinterest
I just love Dr Seuss, don't you? He just makes me smile.

Sometimes I get too caught up in thinking about Buddhist philosophies of moving beyond individuality and need to be reminded that while each and every one of us is the goddess in some manifestation, we are a specific manifestation and expression of the goddess. Which means that we are geared towards expressing a particular journey/calling. For me that calling is working in education, studying spirituality and nurturing family. And they are part of the expressions of the goddess that make me, me in a way that no one else can be.

Isn't it just great when you realize that some of your favourite children's books had it right? And that really, everything you needed to know you really did learn in kindergarten?

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Thursday, November 29, 2012

another 52 weeks?

People have asked me several times if I intend to do another round of 52 weeks of art journaling. And I have to admit that yes, there are times that I think yes, absolutely and times I think, no way.

The first half the 52 weeks project
 
I'm leaning more and more to the yes side (having a year break helped) but there's a catch. If I'm going to do it, I'm going to need help.

the last half of the 52 week project

If all goes well I will be bring Baby Faye into the world this summer and will be unable to organize posts for the last weeks of July and all of August.

So here's the deal... if some of you are willing to step in and take care of guest posting for at least 8 weeks (you can do it once or 8x if you're game), then I will take on the challenge again.

This means that your posts would have to be ready and delivered by the beginning of July (so you'd have 7 months to plan ahead and you could even pick your prompt and tell me in advance so that I don't use it).

So if you're interested and willing to commit, drop me a line (before Yule, ie, Dec 21st) at: aradiascauldron at gmail dot com
 

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

sometimes things unfold just as they need to


I admit it, I'm fully a product of the instant gratification generation. I'd like to say that I'm not, but I am! Guilty as charged. So when I have to wait for things I don't do so well. I try to micro-manage things through learning and understanding. 

This morning on my commute into work, I had something of a mini epiphany in relation to my latest bout of instant gratification angst: that it had to work out this way in order to be truly ready. Yes, yes, I'm talking about the baby thing (don't worry, I'll endeavour to not turn this blog into a baby only blog).

But I realized that the months of trying to figure out what's was going on with my body forced us as a couple to hash out some of the major issues facing us as parents to be. And more importantly, as my magical name that I took on at my initiation... (the time at which my body actually turned completely inside out and upside down... though it had been hinting at it for a while) suggests... I have taken on the role of not only doing the work to prove my devotion to the Great Work and proving my dedication, but also reminding my God form husband of his true nature before we re-create the world together.

What I find particularly interesting about this version of the godform that I have taken on, is how a propos it is to the process I have been walking this year with Mr Faye. So many of our conversations this year have centered on him claiming his own space and identity beyond his community and family, only to finally make a major break through this fall with him owning up to his responsibility in creating one of our more heated tensions in our relationship. Suffice to say, having the time to work through it this year, with him finally realizing his part in it, has made a big difference in our dynamic and has gone a long way in making me feel more relaxed about the dynamic we will create in our life together as parents. 

So yeah, this morning I just realized that yeah, sometimes things just happen that way for a reason and I was profoundly grateful for that realization this morning.


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Monday, November 26, 2012

today i am

Stars:
November 26th, 2012 
Sun in Sagittarius
Moon in Taurus

Creating: New holiday traditions with Mr Faye in the new digs. A baby. Yes, you read that right. I started taking B6 this cycle and bam, without even trying, we're pregnant. Baby Faye is only 3 weeks and it's super early to share the news but I'm all about the disclosure (I kind of suck at secrets). Things might go awry but we'll cross that bridge if it comes up! Besides, I'm sure you're all going to notice me posting less because all I want to do these days is sleep!

Planning: I'm planning for the madness of the season. I've started shopping. Meal planning because I'm a vegetarian and while a veggie pregnancy is totally doable, it requires a bit more attention to make sure that I'm getting everything balanced.

Reading: Still reading The Baby in the Bathwater

Thinking, Realizing & Feeling: That I'm pregnant and that means things in my life are going to change, big time! I'm sort of somewhere between excited, freaked right out, and Zen. And I cycle through each feeling about every 30 mins!

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Gratitude:


  • That health stuff seems to be on track again. 
  • For watching family reactions to the news
  • Fresh, crisp air and brisk walks in the cold.
  • That my neighbourhood is already getting into the season (I'm so excited about the holidays this year, which is so odd and out of character for me)
  • Quiet Monday morning at work
  • Mint tea   


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Friday, November 23, 2012

quote of the week

via pinterest
This is something that I have always struggled with in my life: living in the now. I'm a big dreamer and like to contemplate the future. Likewise, I am very sentimental about the past (hello, I scrapbook this shouldn't come as a surprise).

But my mother always told me to remember to live in the moment, to not regret decisions made in the past because you make them with the best of intentions based on the information you have at the time, and this has been something that I've cherished as advice because it's so easy to get caught up in the regrets of what if.

Finding a balance between dreaming big for tomorrow and being here now however, continues to challenge me. And frankly, I'll be honest, it continues to challenge my marriage because I constantly drive Mr Faye crazy with my myriad of plans, dreams, ambitions, and the need to talk about future hypotheticals.

If anything, marrying a man who is so different than me in this regard has been both a blessing and a curse. A curse because it can be the source of most of our personality based tensions, with me frustrated by his unwillingness to plan ahead and him frustrated by my need to be on step 5 when we haven't finished step 1 yet.

On the other hand, it is a blessing because it has taught me (and I suspect him though he might beg to differ) to see the world differently, to pace myself, to stop and ease up from time to time because my intensity can overwhelm people with a sense of chaos and urgency that they find stressful.

I'm always amazed by what long term relationships can teach us about ourselves in in life. I'm a big believer that people come into our lives to teach us things, and even if the lessons can be hard, they are worthwhile because they force us to grow and understand ourselves better.

Whenever I struggle to remember to be more present in the now, I am reminded of Mr Faye saying, "Faye, go slowly. Is this really something we need to talk about today, or is something else more important right now? Like cuddling on the couch together?" In case you don't know this, Mr Faye is quite the cuddler and believes that cuddling pretty much trumps everything else. And while sometimes this can drive me crazy cause I've shit to do people, it also is something I adore about him because he is always present and ready for love.

And this reminds me every day to be a better person, to put him first, to remember to be present in our relationship, even in the smallest mundane ways, which is something I carry with me (more and more) into my larger daily life.

Isn't love and life grand in the little ways that you can learn the simplest but hardest lessons?

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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Today I am


Stars:

November 20th, 2012 
Sun in Scorpio
Moon in Aquarius

Creating: 

I have been creating up a storm of goodies for my etsy shop ever since re-opening it a week ago. While 5 orders in a week isn't much for many crafty people, for me it's a fair number given that I really only do this as a hobby.

It's been fun though. I've created a new stationery set and even sent things to Norway. Love it.


Planning: Ok, I have a confession. I pulled out my Christmas tree. Yes. I know. It's insanely early and I have no excuse for such Pollyanna displays of Christmas cheer. But there you have it. I'm really looking forward to celebrating the holidays in our new home. Like insanely looking forward to it apparently. Don't worry. I didn't decorate it yet and I will have the tact to wait until Dec before even contemplating decorating it. But yeah, I'm getting excited!

Trying: 
nging sometimes because people have the funniest hang ups!

Viewing & Listening:



Pink. Seriously can't help but love the girl. In an age of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, she is the one female artist that I have always liked and respected from that particular generation of female pop stars. 

I know there are so many other great female artists out there. And I love many of them. But I have a not so secret love for Pink. I just do and I'm outing myself.

Reading: Just started reading The Baby in the Bathwater

Thinking: Just that I'm tired so much lately. What's up with that? Seriously? I went to bed at 9 last night and 8:30 the night before. (Granted I wake up at 5:45 am, but still why won't my body let me sleep and feel rested)?! 

I may have finally honed in on an area of study for a Masters in Education. I've been contemplating this move for about 4 years now but have never been sure exactly what I wanted to explore but egads people, I think I have it! And better yet, it's an angle that allows me to fuse interculturalism/diversity, ESL, and disabilities together under the rubric of universal design for learning at the Canadian postsecondary level. This is a good thing. Now I just have to decide if this is something I want to start in Fall 2013 or 2014. I'm leaning towards 2014. 

Realizing: That for some reason I'm really not interested in doing the work right now and that I'm not sure how to change that pattern. I know it's important. I know the benefits. But I'm really struggling to make it a priority in my life right now. So instead I'm just trying to enjoy the contemplation that comes from getting outside every day while I hike up through the park/heath to the train.

Feeling: A little out of sorts with family. I love them but they drive me crazy, you know? I'll get over it but for now, I'm just laying low and staying off their radar!

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Gratitude:


  • I'm grateful that the B6 seems to be working and am ready to start a Hallelujah Happy Dance (or the pagan equivalent
  • Beautiful sunrises and kisses goodbye in the morning
  • Finally figuring out where to put those dang star lights we bought years ago!
  • A retired colleague who chase after me because I can be bad at writing back but mean to cause I miss her and the awe that comes from realizing that a woman who could be my mother is actually a dear friend.


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Thursday, November 15, 2012

art journal bits

While I was away, I worked on this piece:


It's a super simple piece but honestly, I just loved the verbal purging process of it. I feel myself reflecting back on 2012 and contemplating the year as it comes to a close, and this journal page is very much about that process for me.

From baby to health, to living according to my ideals... 2012 has been a big year of transition and I have to say that the idea of balance, my word of the year, has been central throughout it all even if it has often felt more like I've been unbalanced more than balanced. But it's been there as a theme all year long. And I find myself now contemplating what my word of 2013 will be.

I want something active. Change, Action, Achieve, Choose. I'm not quite sure but I know that the year ahead is going to be about going after what I want in my life. Not contemplation. Not healing. Going and getting and creating what I want to manifest in my world.

I don't know what it is this fall. Maybe it's the chaos of the Autumn session, but my mind is very much engaged in wrapping things up and a fresh start.


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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Halloween Goals Update


Halloween Goals:
1. Keep working on my Tree of Life art journal pages

WIP: This is what I have for Hod so far. It's weird actually, I started from a quick sketch I created in my practice journal, to this, which is bit (lot) less Hod in nature. We'll see what I do with the final creation!



2. Go Eco: stop driving to work and take public transit

I purchased a Nov train/bus/metro pass and it's been good so far. On a few days, because of time and other commitments, I've still driven into work. But for the most part I've been making the morning hike to the commuter train.

This is what my morning trek to the train looks like:



3. Get back into my daily practice

Not so good yet, but I've been travelling!

4. Watch my friend get married, visit Grandma, work on Christmas family history album with Mom

So my Mom totally didn't hold up her end of the bargain for the album project so that just didn't happen. After all, I can only do so much.

In terms of Grandma... OMG I love my Grandma, she's just the bestest. Really. We were laughing like crazy because she made some comment "I'd like to see a calorie. I'd bash it. Damn thing ruined my life." You'd have to have been there to fully appreciate the pure hilarity of the moment. But rest assured, it was totally amazeballs! 81 years old and my Grandma's still got it. She's totally one of my most favourite people in the world. I wish that everyone had such an amazing Grandma.

And then the wedding. Well let's put it this way. It was awesome but exhausting.

Friday: I flew into Vancouver, hung out with a friend for lunch/coffee/button sewing and walking conversations. Took the ferry to Nanaimo, had dinner with my parents, then met a friend for coffee in the evening. (Yes, I drank a lot of coffee while on the west coast). Day ran from 5am to 1:30am EST.

Some of my very best girlfriends! And all former roommates  
aturday: Woke up and drove down to Victoria. Helped set up reception room and ceremony space. Watched one of my oldest friends get married to an even older friend's little brother. It was one of the most, if not the most, beautiful, intimate and personal ceremonies I've ever been to. I cried and laughed and just loved witnessing their celebration/commitment/love. It was an odd experience because while I was a guest of the bride and I know her family and old friends, I was also hanging out with my other friend's family (groom side) because I grew up with her and her parents. I think this is part of what made it all the more intimate for me: the fact that I felt personally connected to over half of the guests there.  And then there was the reception. Good times.

Sunday: Drove back up to Nanaimo. Picked up my Mom. Drove up to Courtenay and spent the afternoon with my Grandma. Drove back to Nanaimo. Had dinner with my parents. Met another friend for coffee. Crawled into bed, exhausted, at 9:30pm PST (12:30 EST).

Monday: Woke up. Morning with my parents. Ferry to Vancouver. Bus and Skytrain to airport. Flew back home and arrived at 12:30 EST. In one day I was in a car, on a boat, on a bus, on a skytrain, on a plane and in a car again. Are there any forms of transportation that I missed? Eek!

5. Finish mantle and decorate it awesome for Yule

Well here's the mantle. Not quite sure what I'm going to do with it yet but I've got aspirations (or delusions) of grandeur:

6. Finish our house ready for family at Christmas list: To do

7. Do a Yule countdown art journal page

Done, but you don't get to see it yet!

8. Read 1 pagan learning/study type of book

What to read, what to read.... I haven't quite decided yet.




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Friday, November 9, 2012

quote of the week

via pinterest

Who knew I'd ever quote the Bible. Yeah. Life is full of ironies, isn't it?

It's been a week. And one that I just needed to take a break during for some reason. Mental health break? Not sure, just time away from blogland.

Hope you have a lovely weekend and I'll probably be back soon!

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Friday, November 2, 2012

quote of the week

via pinterest
I think magic is a lot about self-fulfilling prophecies. This isn't to say that just because I think I'll fail, I will, or just because I think a spell will work, it will. There are other mitigating circumstances that influence these things.

But I do think, that aside, that a lot of goes with living a magical life is working to build up the knowledge and trust that we can.

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Thursday, November 1, 2012

Halloween 2012 Goals

Ok here are my goals for this turn of the Wheel:



Last turn of the wheel goals:

Work on Tree of Life journal pages To be continued
Decide if staying or going from coven I decided to stay for now
Visit brother in London Done. It was great.
Pictures for Project Life One week I'm good, others not so much.
3 new bands Done and then some. I'll have to share soon!
Gym 2x a week Fail!
Daily vitamin/water Win!
Meditate 4x/week Fail but I'm still working on it


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