Wednesday, December 12, 2012

pregnancy and evolving spiritual needs

Lately things have been either exceedingly quiet or madly frantic in my life. It's been challenging for me to find the time to do anything other than what has to be done or sleep these days. In the midst of it all, my wee furbaby has become quite needy and so there's been a lot of this going on lately:


I know that this is just part and parcel of the first trimester of pregnancy, but with the holidays and end of term being part of it, I sort of feel a bit like I'm drowning in lethargy.

Spiritually speaking, I find myself re-examining my commitment to my group and my practice. I've been finding it too absolute and inflexible lately. I find myself questioning the space it takes up in my life and feeling that it occupies too much of my day to day existence.

I'll be honest, this worries me because I wonder if this level of practice is sustainable when combined with parenthood. I think I'm longing for something that feels a little freer and more flowing than the practice I have at the moment, particularly given the way life is going to change with a wee one in it.

And yet, at the same time I am also that much more committed to doing the work on some level because I feel that it is all the more important now for me to be out there, serving the gods. It's an odd paradox but at the heart of it I see that there are so many ways to experience the divine and practice this path, based on where we are at in our lives.

Now, if only I could stay awake past 9:30pm I might actually be able to visit this space or my art journal more often and journal it out!

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Monday, December 3, 2012

today i am

Stars:

December 3rd, 2012
Sun in Sagittarius
Moon in Leo

Creating: Baking. That's it right now. Honestly. But on the bright side, I have been better about meditation again. So I'm stoked about that. 3 out of 5 days is good. My goal is to get back to 4x a week (which is less than my previous 6x but much more manageable).

Planning: I'm turning into the Holiday Nazi. Yup, that's right. I've sent out the emails to get everyone on board and ready for holiday shenanigans. I'm envisioning a star garland for my dining room and recruiting family to help. Plus baking. I started with sugar cookies. Next up... not sure yet. Got any good recommendations?

Reading: Still reading The Baby in the Bathwater

Thinking, Realizing & Feeling: All I think about right now is BABY, BABY, BABY.  I need to think less about baby and more about other stuff. I haven't crafted in like, forever. But honestly, my energy levels have been shit and I've slept more than I ever thought possible. Howeve,r I think things are shifting back to I'll get back on track with the crafting soon. I have so much stuff to do. 
 
I'm really struggling to do anything these days. I'll be honest. I'm not focused on blogging or scrapbooking, or art journaling. I'm really hoping this will change as my energy levels improve. I have all these hopes for recording the pregnancy.
 
And even more important thing to think about: what god name would  you baptize your baby as if you had to come up with a pagan spiritual name for a child? For example, while Isis is a lovely name, I wouldn't want to shackle a little girl with the burden of such a heavy spiritual life path.

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Gratitude:


  • The holidays are upon us and it's time for December madness. 
  • My in laws are so incredibly generous
  • My brother in law said the nicest thing to us about being great parents. I totally teared up cause I'm all emotional like these days. 
  • The semester is almost over and I'm so happy to see the end of it. It's been a rough work semester for yours truly
  • Christmas lights are out and they look so pretty!


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