Monday, October 7, 2013

52 weeks of art journaling: week 36

This week's prompt: Letting Go

I always associate Autumn with wrapping things up, introspection, and new beginnings.

I'm never sure if this has more to do with the season itself or years of going back to school at this time and associating the season with new beginnings. Regardless of what it is, I always think of this time of year as one of organization and fresh starts. And with that comes an act of letting go of some things past.

This year I feel the need to let go of things even more as things change rapidly in my world. I'm letting go of old clothes (I just donated a top I've had since grade nine - I loved that top but it was time). I'm letting go of some expectations I had on a personal level, and full of inspiration for new beginnings. All of which has me thinking about my word for the year 2013: story.

If I were to let go of one thing for the next year in order to write a new story it would be letting my insecurities get the better of me. Too often I catch myself letting my insecurities dictate my interactions with others because that inner monologue still keeps telling me that I'm not quite up to snuff, even after all these years. We all have that voice. You know the one. The one you'd like to take a baseball bat to but know that no matter how often you bash it, it'll bounce back.

For me that little voice is all about likability. It's ridiculously stupid and I end up holding myself back because of how I let this particular narrative shape the world around me and my need to belong. So yeah... if I could let go of one thing this fall, it would be that. I would kill the bastard, deal him the death card, and then start fresh again on the other side of the river. You know?


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