My life has been filled with so many blessing this past year I don't know where to begin but since I said I would, here goes. 8 gratitudes, chosen at random and by no way representative of all the great things that have passed in the past year:
- The office baby shower. My coworkers decorated, potlatched, and gifted me off into motherhood. I have some amazing colleagues and it was such a warm send off that I was overwhelmed by it. It was more than I ever expected and touching beyond belief to know that I have such loving coworkers
- A year full of adventures : from seeing live rollerderby, to local theatre, to Q, to dinners out, and art galleries. From soap making, trying to grow my own garden, and Halloween decorating. I wanted to make this year count and get out there and live it more fully. And I have. Inside the home and out.
- The practice of doing gratitude journals/calendars. It's amazing how many little things we have on a daily basis to be grateful for but that we lose track of if we don't write them down. While I'm not a pessimist per se, I definitely can be more of a complainer than thanker and I think taking the time to remember something to be grateful for has been a good practice to introduce into my life.
- Fall colours. I know. It's an odd one to put into a list but as I'm currently surrounded by them again, I can't help myself. I love this season. Always have and even more so now that I'm living out east. The season always reminds me to step back and appreciate beauty, to get outdoors before it gets too cold, to marvel in how amazing nature is.
- My family this year. Especially my little brother who despite his social awkwardness, keeps trying to be there and reminding me that he thinks this family business is important. That he keeps fighting the fight to keep family together. That we're in it together and that I'm not alone in trying to maintain family bonds with people who live across the globe.
- Follow up care from both my doctor and my doula. I'm pretty jaded about health care in my province. Ok. REALLY jaded. But when push comes to shove and I needed information or quick responses both have been phenomenal in terms of their attention and follow up. From making sure that I got important results back asap to answer tricky questions and doing extra research for me, both my doctor and doula have really helped to lessen my jadedness.
- My HPS and fellow coven teachers for giving me the space I needed this past year. For weathering the hot/cold storm that has marked my practice and commitment over these 12 months. I've not been an easy student or coven mate as I sorted through my shit and as I adapted to pregnancy and parenthood. I appreciate that they have been willing to stay on the journey with me and have done so with love and flexibility.
- The fact that my husband took my most terrified confession and held it safely without judgement. That he stood with me and by me as I fell apart and picked myself back up again. Repeatedly. Spiritually, physically, and emotionally, several times this year. That despite all the bad sides of myself that I show him, he still sees good in me and reminds me of this all of the time. When anger and frustration make me far from the parent I mean to be, when pain and sickness cause me to sacrifice my ideals and feel hypocritical, or when I just feel lost and waiver back and forth constantly over decisions that I rehash over and over again. The list of times that I have been grateful for my husband this past year, for picking him and him picking me, is a long one.
So that's it. 8 big gratitudes. 8 big lessons in love and kindness that others have brought into my life, reminding me to pay it forward and back; reminding me to aspire to living a life of loving kindness.