Lately I've been thinking a lot about my patterns of behaviour. I've always thought about who I am as a person, but motherhood has shifted some of the ways that I see myself and the areas in my life that I want to focus on.
All my life I've been a staunch believer in the school of thought that the best way to deal with a problem is to hash it out with friends. I'm a talker. I will hash things out several times, with different friends, repeatedly before finding closure on an issue.
But recently I've noticed that all this talking doesn't actually ever make me feel better. Ok, sometimes it does. But most of the time, it actually makes me angrier. More worked up. Resentful. Self-righteous or indignant.
You get the picture. So when recent events conspired to bring about another scenario in Faye land that would normally have me heading to the phone to hash it out with friends, this time I opted for a different approach. When I felt my blood starting to boil, I pulled back and meditated instead. I worked on letting go, breathing, and accepting that while I didn't like it, it wasn't worth getting so worked up about.
And you know what? I felt a whole lot better, a lot faster, than I normally do in these types of situations.
Now I'm not saying that you should always stay silent or that meditation will work in all scenarios, but I am starting to see how maybe I might need to let go of old patterns of response in order to feel more contentment in my life. Hey, it's worth a shot, right?