Friday, December 27, 2013

practicing practice

If you'd seen my practice/craft room lately, you'd not be surprised by my confession that my creativity and practice have sort of taken a backseat to the chaos that feels like my daily life. This is partly due to the fact that holiday crafting took over, but honestly, it was a longer process that lead to the chaos that currently is.

view from my creative/practice space

With that in mind, I've been slowly trying to work my way through the dumping grounds that my space has become of late so that I can get back on track again with my rituals of creativity and meditation. I feel like trying to build a practice in the space, as it is with it's clutter, would be completely counter-intuitive to my aspirations.

I'm trying to take a conscientious approach to how I bring these elements back into my life as I feel that they are so important to me but an area that I have struggled with during the past year due to pregnancy, motherhood, and various spiritual crises.

Over the past months I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I want my practice to look like these days. More thinking than doing, partly due to the nature of baby Faye's erratic schedule, partly due to my own erratic mind. Cleaning out the space feels a bit like cleaning out my erratic mind, make room for spirit and creativity to creep back in.

I'll admit that I'm a little nervous about it. I'm worried about making it work, creating something that is uniquely my own and making it stick. This morning, as I was reading T. Thorn Coyle's Crafting a Daily Practice, she wrote this, which really spoke to where I am at, at this moment: "Can we think of our time commitments as a practice, rather than an end product or chore." I feel like it's so easy to get caught up in the idea of where I should be, what I should be doing, rather than being present in the now, doing the work for the work's sake, and appreciate what that brings into my life every day instead of what the long term goals might be.

So as I clean up my space, I'm trying to take the time to be present in the act, remembering that sometimes just making the space is a worthy practice, imperfect in nature, but perfect as it is, and that is just fine. Right now, instead of trying to carve out the perfect practice, I'm just practicing, figuring things out and that act is sacred in and of itself.


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