I miss blogging. Ever since I became a mother, it's been something that has slowly drifted off my radar as I shifted my focus and learned my new role in life. (Or rather, a new role, I should say, because I believe that I am more than just a mother and the feminist in me needs that to be acknowledged).
Point being, I miss the process of reflection, writing and nurturing creativity. My god, I miss nurturing creativity so much that when I have an opportunity to create I'm almost paralyzed by remembrance. Taking time out for creativity is a balm to my soul. Yes, really.
Far too often we sacrifice the things that really feed us, nourish us, in favour of busy. Smartphones, internet, lists, work, every day life dramas.
Yesterday I was driving home, licking my wounds, focused on narratives that only harm my soul, when I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun between the big, white, fluffy clouds. It was a simple moment but it reminded me that the world is beautiful and that I need to remember to see the beauty. To celebrate and embrace it.
Where am I going with all this? No where really I suppose. Just reflecting on how I fill my days with stuff at the expense of moments and thoughts and joy that make me happy. I forget to get outside. I forget to write. I forget to make art. I forget to let go of the shit that drives me crazy. The games that mean nothing in the long run (how good is the art created, how many people read what I write, that it's cold outside, etc, etc).
So this morning, when Kat McNally's #Reverb15 oracle reading came through my email, I wasn't entirely surprised to receive imaginationinstead of love. While I feel like I could use some more love, it's not really necessarily true. I do have a lot of love in my life. What I need is the stuff that nourishes my soul and makes me remember to be grateful for the love that I actually do have; to follow my bliss as it were and stop being afraid of my own demons. Because quite frankly, the past season has really been about me learning to face down my own fears and tell them to shut up; both professionally and personally.
So here I go into Reverb15 with the focus being on letting go and embracing the new places my imagination and creativity will lead me in the new year.