Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Sanctimommy and the smartphone

Recently a post showed up in my Facebook feed that left me feeling really cranky. Essentially the post talked about how a mom or down her smartphone and counted the times her children looked up for validation from her. She counted something life 23 times that she would have missed if she was on her phone.

I get her point. I know that I'm guilty of being on my phone too much. That I miss things. And I'm working on it.

But here's the thing. I'm doing the best that I can to balance it all and posts like this just feed the mama guilt. And I'm tired of the not good enough ever present mother that I'm meant to be.

Do you think moms of the past were always watching us?

I don't think so. In fact I'm damn sure they weren't. They were shipping us outside to play. Letting us explore the neighborhood.

They were knitting or sewing or cooking (looking down and not watching us to be sure). They were having coffee with other moms or taking care of other children.

I'm not sure why this generation,  my generation,  is so intent on telling us to be present for every single moment. To engage with our children 24/7, when while cooking wholesome meals,  do yoga,  maintain our self through friendships and other means,  craft elaborate cakes and home decor,  etc, etc and stick expects us to be sane.

Can we just stop?


Some days I'm more present than others. Some days I'm a better mama than others. But my child is always safe. I'm always there. And guaranteed,  while I might not catch every single glance for approval or acknowledgement,  I catch most and my child knows he is loved.

Can we stop judging and start supporting? Can we remember that is important that we try our best and that our children know we are here?

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