Sunday, January 17, 2016

word updates

Writing really is a habit that has to be nurtured. Or at least, that's how I feel these days. I'm so out of the habit of writing that when I sit down to write, I'm never sure where to start.

I've been working on my manifesting my word in my life, with some hits and misses.

One of the ways that I really wanted to start changing my relationship with being open-hearted was with a group of friends who I hadn't spoken to about my mother's choice to cut communication. It was ok sharing, but oddly enough, it stirred up so much anxiety and vulnerability in me for days afterwards. Rationally I knew that the information wouldn't be used against me. I trusted them to keep the information safe and hold it in good faith and yet, I still had this anxiety over how I was perceived and with the feeling of having burdened them with my baggage. I've been trying to sort through those reactions and find the root of why this is. It's been an interesting process to say the least.

slowly plugging away at my first art journaled word for the wheel page

At work I'm working on being bolder and asking for projects and ideas that I'd like to initiate instead of maintaining the status quo. Everyone has told me, prior to asking, that the answers would be and have always been, no. That's not been my experience so far, which is great. Now I just have to follow through and work towards building my vision. Fingers crossed that the students respond positively.

On the other hand, I've been having some rough nightmares, full of anxieties and insecurities that are leaving me quite shaken up in the morning. And I definitely shut down during my birthday, letting my hurt and sadness define the day for me. Thankfully both my husband and a close co-worker weren't shy about telling me to get my head out of my ass (in a nicer way than that).

I also joined in on Ali Edward's One Little Word workshop this year (it's been a few years since I last joined... actually the last time that a word really felt alive in my year truth be told) and I'm looking forward to fusing her project with my own sabbat based take on the year.


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